Montreal Pride Not easy to be a gay firefighter<

Can LGBTQ+ firefighters live their sexual orientation without constraints in their position? Not really, according to Patrice Lavoie, who was advised not to reveal his orientation during his studies, in 2002, so as not to harm his career. Like him at the time, dozens of Quebec firefighters are now “in the closet”. The situation is of concern to the Montreal Fire Department (SIM), which is preparing a diversity and inclusion strategy.

When Patrice Lavoie studied at the Quebec Fire Protection Institute, he was not openly gay. "Since I assumed it was a traditionally male and macho environment, I did some research and was told not to come out," he recalls.

He had been given the example of an openly gay student who had been accepted by his colleagues at the Institute, but intimidated upon his arrival in his position, and who had quit. “For this reason, I decided not to talk about it at school,” says Mr. Lavoie. When people asked me what I had done over the weekend, I would say that I had had a date, without saying if it was with a girl or a guy. I remained vague. »

Years later, he became the first openly gay spokesperson for a government corporation, Loto-Québec. “Today, with my personality, I would assume my homosexuality if I had to do it again, but in the past, I had chosen the easy way to preserve perceptions, he says. During my year of study, I was going through a heartbreak, but I could not tell my close friends about it. I found that a bit sad. »

Gay love between firefighters

Alain, a former firefighter in his fifties, also hid a romantic relationship with a man, a firefighter working in a position other than his. “We met after a major fire. We exchanged our numbers to chat between firefighters. Months later, we discovered our mutual attraction. We didn't know we were gay,” says Alain, who requested anonymity because most people around him don't know he's gay.

Month after month, their relationship has become stronger. “It was evolving well between us, because we were hiding. We did outdoor activities like two good friends. However, their relationship came to an abrupt end when her partner died in an accident.

Since then, he has remained in the closet, convinced that his workplace is as closed as when he was hired. About 30 years ago, he found that his colleagues were not open to hearing him talk about his sexual orientation. “How many times have I heard that there are no fags in the fire department? he said. However, a gay, bisexual or straight firefighter is still a human who wants to help others. We're no less good than straight firefighters. Unfortunately, when we went out outside of work, I heard them speaking out against gays. So I never said anything. »

Alain would have liked to talk about his personal life, as his colleagues did at the post. “They talked about their activities with their girlfriends, bragged about the girls they slept with. Me, I didn't talk about anything. I was scared. »

Bending under the weight of silence, he had to leave the post for a related job in the fire safety service. But he never stopped wanting to help his former colleagues in a similar situation.

Not an exception

According to Roger, a professional who has worked with various fire safety services in Quebec for 20 years and who asked that his first name be changed so as not to harm his work, there are more firefighters who are attracted to other men than you might think. Roger is convinced that if their preferences were known to their colleagues, they would be ostracized.

“We should have no illusions: mentalities are not so open. Gay or bisexual firefighters are afraid of being found out. They are very anxious about it. »

That's not all. “A few years ago, a retired firefighter came to do some work at our house,” says Roger. He told me that he often did carpentry at a gay club and that I couldn't imagine the number of firefighters who often went there. He also had to reassure them by promising them that he would not reveal anything about them. »

Freeing yourself from silence

While not all firefighters are closed-minded or homophobic, the law of silence nevertheless seems to prevail in the stations. This leads many firefighters to seek support from the Brotherhood of Gay and Bisexual Firefighters of Quebec, founded by Alain in the early 1990s. "It's a relatively secretive group," he says. To make it known, I advertised in LGBTQ+ magazines. The association is made up of around thirty retired firefighters and other active workers, married to women to hide their sexual orientation or single. »

By offering them a safe space to express themselves, Alain witnessed real distress.

“While listening to a website, I was put in touch with three gay firefighters who were thinking of ending their lives. I listened to them, answered their questions, suggested referrals for help, and they got away with it. »

Does he believe that his profession will one day be open and inclusive? “I would like that, but I don’t know if I believe in it. I imagine that among the new recruits, there are many young firefighters who are much more open-minded. I hope that one day it will be less hidden. »