Does our first name influence our life?<

The choice of first name is always the subject of debate when expecting a child. Before calling him Flaurance, Plume, Hannibal or Benjamyn, be aware that too much originality could have a negative impact on the life of your offspring.

Like a tattoo

In her book The Power of First Names, published a few months ago, author Anne Laure Sellier demonstrates, with supporting studies, to what extent our first name influences our life and that its choice is of capital importance. . Interview.

"The choice of your children's first name is the most serious and fundamental decision you will have to make in your life," says Anne Laure Sellier, professor and researcher in cognitive sciences at HEC Paris. We now have scientific data and we know that the first name influences our life. We hope that it will empower parents, she continues. Because our first name is the founding act of our existence and a social label that we carry around all our lives.

The teacher indicates that there is a desire among many parents to hyper-individualise the child, to make it unique by giving it an original first name, for example. "The cult of the individual is at its peak, but they do not realize the extent of the influence of the first name on the psychological level, because the first name is like a tattoo," explains Ms. Sellier.

She adds that it has an influence on our personal and professional, even intimate life. “It makes sense, when you think about it. We call you by your first name 20 times a day since you were little, we put particular intonations into it, it conditions your reactions and the way you behave and, over time, it ends up forging your personality and shaping your life, she argues. Today, we have scientific data, we have tools, in particular with artificial intelligence, which measures what we can learn about the true scope of the first name.

She cites an American study by economists Saku Aura and Gregory D. Hess which showed that certain characteristics of first names have an influence on success in life. For example, the number of syllables, conventional spelling or not, first names of African origin or not, if the first name is frequently listed nationally, if it is a nickname (Bob, Mike)... Their analyzes (on 6000 people) reveal that the characteristics of the first name can predict the social status, the level of studies and the salary of the person.

According to Anne Laure Sellier, our face could even bear the traces of our first name. It indicates that the manifestation of our first name on our face is the culmination of years of unconscious work.

She writes that “if the stereotype of a Julie fits that of a smiling, bright girl, people will approach Julie expecting that face. Julie, by unconscious imitation, begins to smile up to her interlocutor's expectations. Over many years of this repeated behavior, over thousands of interactions with others who - within our cultural group - share this stereotype of Julie, our Julie eventually bears the permanent mark of a bright, smiling face. . In order to be recognized and accepted by others, we put ourselves in the fold of the representation that others have of our first name. It's like couples who end up looking alike.

The bad intuition of parents

Anne Laure Sellier points out that the intuition of young parents is often bad because we wish our children an extraordinary destiny. "You say to yourself, 'I'm still not going to call him Louis.' So, we are tempted to change the spelling of the first name. One of the things that hurts the most is when you give a classic first name and change the spelling. It's the worst thing to do, because all your life he will have to spell his first name, she warns. It will be Louys with “y”, except that this little extra thing that we think is extraordinary, it will become a little less thing for the person.

A first name that is too unusual can also harm its holder. “When you repeat your first name two or three times and people haven't understood it yet, can you imagine the hell? The effort that it will require society to systematically understand the first name is detrimental to the person, explains the professor. On the level of the brain, which is unconscious, we will love the person less simply because it is hard to always stumble on his first name.

We all want to have or give an extraordinary first name to our child, but the researcher warns, because a child needs simplicity and above all to be accepted.

"It's already difficult for a teenager to form a personality, the first name shouldn't complicate things."

Since her book came out, she never imagined receiving so many comments from people who suffered because of their first name and who did not dare to change it. “Changing your first name, would that be self-denial? A social taboo? A work of justification too complex? Parents who wouldn't accept it? In any case, socially, one thing is certain, it is not well accepted.

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The power of first names. Anne-Laure Sellier. Editions Heliopoles.

“What is your spelling?”

Testimonials from three people who have to live with an unusual first name.

Kayou Lepage, born in 1972

"It's heavy to bear and, above all, I'm not as eccentric as my first name. It almost forces me to develop an originality because we say to ourselves that with a first name like that, I am necessarily eccentric, whereas I am reserved. I don't identify with my first name at all. I could have changed it, but at the same time, it's so intimate. My parents added the name Aleksi (yes, yes, with a "k") because at school they laughed at me.

“My parents were hippies who used phonetic spelling. Kayou is a reference to Gilles Vigneault's song, Caillou Lapierre."

Kayou's spelling makes things even more complicated. “It's complex to introduce myself to new people... People wonder if it's my real name, where it comes from, why. I have to tell my life every time and I have been repeating the same story for 45 years. It's exhausting! People also tell me that my parents must have smoked some good one. Luckily I don't do politics or I didn't become a lawyer. Master Kayou, that doesn't sound very serious."

He published a novel, and the publisher refused to let him sign Kayou. “So I published it under Aleksi K. Lepage.”

“The only advantage is that Kayou is likeable and sounds like a nickname. It really sets me apart. Kayou, it's clear that it's me, there's no doubt!

Note that he is the inspiration behind the name of the children's character Caillou. Its creator was his neighbor.

Anie Deslauriers, born in 1984

She confesses that she spends her life spelling her first name and that despite the passing years, she does not get used to it. “Since I was very young at school, I have been asked if there is a mistake in the spelling of my first name: “Are you sure there are not two “n”? " That's what I hear every day.

"I don't blame my parents. I talked to them about it and asked them what they had thought. My parents are teachers and yet they know what it is to spell! It was my mother who decided to call me Anie. It was in homage to one of his students (with two "n's"). She said to herself that at worst, it would forge my character.

"I have a daughter called Ophélie and my mother said to me: 'You should write it Aufélie.' I answered NO!!! I don't want her to spend her life spelling her first name. If I had to go back, I would tell my mother to keep the two "n's".

Chrystian Guy, born in 1970

Her mother thought she was expecting a girl and wanted to name her Chrystine, who turned into Chrystian when she was born. “My mother chose different spellings for all her children: my brother is Erick, and my sister, Karoline. I don't like my first name. I don't like people calling me by my first name, it hurts me to hear it. The worst thing is that I discovered when I got married, at 30, that in the Civil Registry, my first name is written with an "i" and on my baptistery with a "y". My mother confided to me that she added the "y" during my baptism. Amazing!

"It's now part of my brand, me who works in marketing. Having this originality also has advantages, because everyone remembers me and I have a good story to tell. At 47, I wouldn't change my first name. I wanted to do it when I was 20, but my father warned me that it would hurt my mother too much."