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Friend of the little ones, ally of the older ones, Santa Claus reappears in the collective imagination as the holiday season approaches. Merchant of happiness and distributor of gifts, the friendly and mythical man has above all become a confidant. “Are you the real Santa Claus? This is the question that Pierre Dastous most often has to answer, whether or not he has put on his red and white costume. It must be said that the resemblance is striking: graying hair, full beard, a jovial air, a soft voice and a smile from ear to ear – when he is not smiling just with his eyes.

“If in your heart you believe in Santa Claus, well, yes, I am the real Santa Claus. And if you doubt, pull on my beard,” he replies each time, delighted to see the wonder in the eyes of the children.

As he puts his suit wrapped in a cover in the kitchen of a restaurant in Place Bell – where Le Devoir gave him an appointment – ​​Pierre Dastous, 67, says he put on this suit for the first time. about ten years ago, to help out the pharmacy where his wife works.

The least we can say is that he quickly took a liking to it. For the past two years, he has been a member of the Agence des Pères Noël Professionnels du Québec (APNPQ) and assumes this role full-time between November and January in shopping centers, corporate events or family dinners.

“The rest of the year, I'm an independent financial planner. He pauses for a moment, his make-up bag in his hand. Head to the bathroom, because time is running out. In less than an hour, a hundred excited children will be crowding before him, their heads full of dream presents. “But ask my wife, she will tell you that I am Santa Claus 365 days a year. Once you start, you don't really come out of your character anymore, ”he adds, with a knowing look.

The “real” Santa Claus in pictures

As the holidays approach, the same scenario repeats itself: he lets his beard grow, learns about the latest fashionable toys, and happily practices his most beautiful “Ho! Oh! Oh! “He prepares himself mentally and emotionally as well. Because, to be a good Santa Claus, you have to have a strong heart.

“Each year brings its share of sometimes difficult stories and confidences. The children often ask me to bring Dad back with Mom for Christmas, to bring Grandma back from heaven, or to heal the seriously ill little brother, ”says Mr. Dastous, the tremolo in his voice. That's not to mention the "everyday ailments": arguments between brothers and sisters, reprimands from parents, monsters hidden under the bed or bullying at school.

Santa Claus is therefore no longer just this "good big friendly guy" who brings gifts to good children. "He has become above all a confidant", maintains Pierre Dastous.

And the little ones are not the only ones to turn to him to tell their misfortunes and find comfort. “I often meet adults who would also like to believe in Santa Claus. They come to see me, a little embarrassed. They need to talk”.

It tells the story of this 92-year-old woman who came to sit on his lap to tell him about her life and ask him to stay healthy. There was also this lady in her sixties: unable to shop alone for a new television to replace the old one, she came to ask Santa Claus for advice. He also remembers this man, mid-forties, who wanted to find his ex-girlfriend for Christmas.

“I remember one particularly difficult story…a lady who had just been diagnosed with cancer. She simply asked me to heal for Christmas,” he says, turning away for a moment from the mirror in front of which he was busy dyeing his eyebrows white. Moved, he takes a deep breath. “What do you say to that? »

Listen to the most beautiful Christmas memory of Pierre Dastous

Need a listen

Professor of psychology at the University of Ottawa Jean-François Bureau is not surprised to see young and old confide their moods to a complete stranger dressed as Santa Claus. "We need Santa Claus more than ever today, someone who puts his hand on our shoulder to tell us 'I'm listening to you and I understand you'", he believes. “He is a character who listens, who does not judge, who has time for us. He is fundamentally good and hides no pettiness. It's something that we lose a little in our time.

Because the social bond has continued to crumble for several decades in Western societies. Not only do people no longer take the time to talk to each other, but they simply no longer know who to confide in. “If we go back to the 1950s, families were much more numerous and united, explains Mr. Bureau. You could also count on your religious community and talk to a priest. The children also listened more to their teacher, who had more time for them than today”.

Santa Claus naturally comes to compensate for this lack. The professor even compares his role to that of help lines, where people call to confide in, expecting nothing in return but a listening ear and some advice.

Better training

Still need to know what to answer. “You have to find the right words, intervene quickly and authentically. It's a lot of responsibilities, ”notes Mr. Bureau, estimating that organizations could offer training for a few hours on the helping relationship to apprentice Santa Clauses. Because, unlike helpline workers and volunteers, they must improvise and rely solely on their judgment.

The members of the APNPQ have one day's training per year, but this training teaches them above all how to behave with a child: how to position themselves for photos, how to carry the child, what to answer him if he asks for an expensive gift or talks about separation or death. “For adults, it's different. They know very well that Santa Claus does not exist and do not have the candor of a child. We then have to manage and do our best to help them,” explains Pierre Dastous.

On his own initiative, he recently sought help from a worker at the Adhémar-Dion palliative care home. A colleague of his wife's asked him to write a letter for her mother, who is about to have her last Christmas. “She is terminally ill. Does she have three weeks or three months? I do not know. But I've been thinking about what to write to him for two weeks, so much so that it wakes me up at night, ”he says, his voice quivering, visibly affected by the situation.

If he has already put a few words on paper, he still wants to personalize his letter even more by finding out about the lady from those close to him. It's that Pierre Dastous takes his role seriously, whether he has his costume on his back or not. “If I'm able to help people, make them smile or see the magic in children's eyes, that makes my day. That's what keeps me going,” he says in his soft voice, smiling with his eyes.

Pierre Dastous makes a final check: hat, belt, gloves... Everything is in place. Stage fright rises little by little, he says, but “there is nothing there”. After all, Santa Claus has seen others; he's an old trucker.

Santa Claus, the ba-ba

It's not Santa Claus who wants in Quebec. The recent dismissal of one of its representatives in Cowansville – deemed “cold” and “unwelcoming” – bears witness to this. More than a hobby, playing the leader of the North Pole is a whole profession, even a passion. "The love of children, the desire to please and help people, the passion to transmit the magic of Christmas : these are essential criteria,” says Victor Gaudreault, director of the Agence des Pères Noël professionnel du Québec. He knows something about it since he takes on this role himself, and it is he who selects and trains the agency's Santa Claus apprentices. The man fired at the Cowansville shopping center was not part of it. Another mandatory criterion, and not the least important: “a 100% clean past”. Each year, the agency checks the background of each of its Santa Clauses with the Sûreté du Québec. A good Santa Claus must also demonstrate emotional intelligence and have good judgment, according to Mr. Gaudreault. Because it's not just about smiling and handing out presents. "Children confide, so you have to know how to listen to them and advise them, show them that you understand them," he explains. The training he gives his team one day a year focuses in particular on this aspect: we must not give false hopes, but bring comfort and support. And the physical in all this? It's not “essential”, he assures, since the quality of the costumes – beard, wig and fake belly – now does all the work. “But if you find a 6-foot Santa Claus with a good 250 pounds, around 60 years old, it sure makes it easier,” he laughs.

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